It’s Marriage Monday! Today we focus on the relationship.
This week’s challenge: Talk about money.
Married couples ages 18 to 40 argue over money more than anything else. When debt or loss of income happens, they can start to blame one another. The wife nags, only as a plea to communicate and to be reassured of her family’s security. The husband becomes secretive, feels frustrated, or blames the wife for her “neediness”.
Instead of ignoring the money situation, and instead of throwing out a nagging barb from time to time, make an appointment with your husband to talk about it in a relaxed environment with no interruptions and no distractions. After dinner.
Don’t talk about money (unless necessary, like “Do we have money in the bank to cover it if I buy this gallon of milk?”) until the appointed time. Use that time to think about and pinpoint what the core issue is for you, and what you can do to compromise. When the time arrives, discuss your finances calmly. Don’t blame. Remember, the marriage comes first.
Really listen to your husband’s plan and his feelings about the situation. Communicate to him how you feel about it, and your ideas, rather than telling him what he should do.
If you hit an impasse, ask for one small thing that your husband can do to help you. Be willing to do one small thing for him in exchange. Maybe something like, you agree not to say anything when he makes an unexpected purchase, if it’s under a specific dollar amount. And he agrees not to make more than one impulse purchase per paycheck. That’s just an example, of course. You’ll need to make compromises that fit your situation.
Set a time limit. Even if everything is not worked out by the time limit, stop. This is especially important if either one of you feels very emotional, or you have a history of bitter arguing over money. Reschedule another time to talk more, and do not allow money talk until that time.
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I hear people talk about “sexual purity before marriage,” a lot. As if it’s okay to be sexually impure, as long as you have that marriage contract. As if sex itself is impure.
It’s Marriage Monday! Today we focus on the relationship.
In the interest of good sticky fun, I offer these suggestions for items that you can use as props to enhance your sexual expression. You can buy them all at Walmart (or wherever you shop), without embarrassment.
